Kiley Wellendorf | Blogger
It was bonfire weather last week, and I can’t even begin to describe how amazing it feels to have that feeling back. In middle school, my friends and I used to spend weekends wrapped up in blankets sitting by the little fire place in the middle of our deck. We played loud, sappy music, and prayed that the stars would show themselves across the sky. Some of the best talks we’ve ever had were spent sitting next to that fire pit and last week I was reminded of the honesty that spring brings. Maybe I’m just a little cliché, but I’ve always felt that the moment spring surfaced was the moment everyone became a little bit happier. (Seriously though – walking around in t-shirts when it’s 40 degrees? Come on.) This is the most honest season because while the snow melts and the sun begins to shine, things start to change in every retrospect. So before the school year ends, I want to make a point to address some things I would normally talk about around a fire pit with my friends.
( 01. Does It Offend You, Yeah? – Dawn of the Dead)
*Best line: “I’m never coming back this way; I’ve got my things, I’m here to stay.”
We were sitting on my deck, and I’m not sure if you noticed it or not – but I was nervous. Not the type of nervous that makes your laugh high-pitched or leaves your palms sweaty, but the type of nervous that makes you freeze in your spot. Looking back, I think you leave people feeling this way. It might be your ability to go against everything normal, or your fear of somehow showing your emotions – but it stumped me. I want to thank you for making me realize that not everyone is the same. I know that sounds obvious, but your actions and reactions are the reason why it’s hard for me to steady my breath sometimes. I’ve always hated feeling unsure, but you taught me something I don’t think I could ever put into words. So thank you for your inability to relate, and your ability to tug me right out of normalcy. This is what makes you so unique.
(02. Machu Picchu – The Strokes)
*Best line: “I’m just trying to find a mountain I can climb.”
This song sounds like something you would tell everyone you know the words to; you’d blast it in your car, mumbling along to the words, and tell all of your friends how big of a fan you were. (I’m not sure if you know it or not, but you are the easiest person to read.) Whether we ran around as kids together or drove around endlessly for hours – you have a way of relating yourself to everything. I’m not sure why you do this, but you’ve always melted into everything around you. You picked up cherry lipstick, tugged away at your long locks, and allowed your old-self to disappoint entirely. Looking back, I assume you were only thinking what I was at the time; you wanted sky-scrapers, coffee-shops, and the freedom to drop everything and leave all at once. Sometimes I miss who you used to be, but I definitely understand why you left in the first place. (I mean, we all have to change at some point.)
(03. Spitting Games – Snow Patrol)
*Best line: “It’s not as if I need the extra weight.”
Isn’t it funny how we walked around years without knowing each other until now? There were so many times where I wanted to take you back to my past and let you walk around. I wanted you to understand where I grew up, who I used to run around with, and why I made the decisions I did. I think the funniest thing about college is you’re given the opportunity to abandon everything you once knew and start over. The truth is — I don’t want to abandon who I used to be. I want to grow from that, and I want to you to stick around just to see what that process looks like. I remember the first time I looked at you; fresh-eyed, scared straight out of my mind, and excited to see where life would take me. Isn’t it crazy where life took me?
(04. Invisible – U2)
*Best line: “I’m more than you see here — more than you let me be.”
Do you ever talk about it? I mean, how can you begin to summarize something like that? Maybe that’s my fault; I wanted a summary and the ending result was a book filled with pages. Unnecessary pages, torn pages, smeared pages, etc. Who would have thought that our summary would take up so much time? I want to read your new story someday. I hope it’s filled with happy memories, careful predictions, and everything you could have asked for. You deserve to feel so much all at once, once again. Who am I to judge how you feel though? I’m only the reader now.
(05. Must Get Out — Maroon 5)
*Best line: “There’s only so much I can do for you after all the things you put me through.”
Why does this fit you so perfectly? I hope you realize that out of everyone I always find myself missing you the most. I remember last year you told me that everything would be different, but that wouldn’t change who we are. I just want you to know that I thought it would change us; I thought we would stop talking, I thought our distance would stretch our friendship like crazy, and I thought you would be past all of what we used to be. I just want you to know that both of us “getting out” made us stronger than we ever were. We’ve been through so much and I can’t imagine what would happen if we ever lost touch. Missing you is something I will always feel with us, but I’m lucky enough to have someone so wonderful to miss.
(06. DNA – Empire of the Sun)
*Best line: “Take me away, so far – no one will find us.”
This song reminds me you and your absolutely fantastic personality. You have a heart made purely of gold and I cannot thank you enough for everything you do. We were miles apart this year but you still somehow make me feel like nothing’s changed with us. I just want you to know that through everything, you will always be someone I will rely on no matter what. I want you to have a perfect life and I want nothing but absolute happiness for you. You are my best friend and I cannot wait to see you again.
