Kiley Wellendorf | Blogger

There was something absolutely terrifying about the way I felt. I mean, it was easy for me to feel everything at once, but somehow it continued to knock the breath right out of me. I think for my entire life I have felt pretty lost. I’m not sure if it’s a battle I started with myself or if it was my idea of wanting to shape my life to absolute perfection. I wanted the spiral staircase, I wanted to be the cheerleader at a state game like Peyton Sawyer, I wanted to have the longest legs, tannest skin, and most perfect hair. Everything I did for myself in high school never really matched up to how I truly wanted to portray myself. My hair color never suited me, my clothes never held purpose, and my make-up seemed pretty basic. Throughout my entire existence on this planet, I’ve told so many souls how I wanted to stand out and be different. I never once gave myself a chance to move others, disagree when everyone else agreed, or even do something for myself. I was unselfish, immature, and well, a high-schooler. Then I went to college.

Looking back to who I used to be a year ago is probably the scariest mirror I’ve ever had to glance into. I came to Buena Vista University (BVU) knowing only a handful of people and I had the impression that my first year would be my only year attending this campus. My plans consisted of moving far away, going to a million concerts, and being so broke I could barely do anything for myself. Instead, I’ve found myself head over heals in love with a campus where every face is familiar and my roommate makes me cry from laughing every single day. I am honestly the happiest I have ever been in my entire life and it’s all thanks to a beautiful little town called Storm Lake.

I had no idea what I was doing when I came to college; I called my friends after every single class, cried about seventy times a day (and hid it from my roommate, Taylor), barely ate because the serve made me nervous, and counted down the days until I could graduate. Ew, seriously, what was wrong with me? She is going to kill me for saying this now but my roommate scared me so much when I met her. Like, okay, if you’ve ever met Taylor Chamberlain, you know exactly what I mean. (Haha. Just kidding, Tay! You know I love you!) Anyways, somehow Taylor and I were matched up even though we have completely opposite lifestyles. I love music (duh), going shopping in the city, and talking about my feelings and hugging. Whereas the first time I tried to hug Taylor she said, “Yeah, I don’t do hugs.” Fast forward to today and I can’t even begin to process how I survived without this woman in my life. First of all, Taylor has done my laundry probably more than I’ve done my own laundry. (If that’s not the perfect roommate then I don’t know what is — haha.) On a real note, if I begin to list every memory I have of her, I could probably write a book by this point.

Throughout my first year at BVU, I was able to meet so many people and develop multiple brand-new habits. I walked regularly with my friends when it was nice out, made up any excuse I could to get the Villager ice cream, and studied for tests in classrooms with my friends until two in the morning. I can honestly say that I have met my best friends for life at this university. Never have I ever felt so connected to so many different people at once and there is absolutely no way I could imagine my life without everyone here. I’ve cried from laughing with them, cried to them, danced with them, ate so much food, watched so many movies, spent my weekends with them, and shared every detail of my past with them. I know people say you can be whoever you want in college, but I’ve found people who truly accept me for the person I used to be in high school combined with the better person I’ve always tried to become. (I don’t think friendships can get any better than that).

So as my final week as a freshman at BVU approaches, I can’t help but look back on everything that I’ve gone through this year. I’ve watched relationships break off, friendships emerge, and my appetite for life continue to grow. I will never forget the nights where herds of people fit into our dorm room on the weekends or the spontaneous cooking nights spent with my friends during first semester. I am the luckiest girl alive for choosing the right campus without even realizing it. I am the luckiest girl alive for meeting some of the best friends I’ve ever had at orientation. I am the luckiest girl for getting put on a floor with a variety of different grades, allowing me to meet such amazing people. I am the luckiest girl alive for getting a chance to talk about my feelings and music over the past year on this little blog. I am the luckiest girl alive for making some of the best friendships I’ve ever had in my entire life. So, to everyone who has been involved in my life at BVU this year — I am so grateful for you and our friendship. Whether you recognize it or not — you’ve made me a better person. I can’t wait for next year.

Graphic by Aaron Burns