Grady Gallagher | Blogger

“Now, I ain’t saying that I’m perfect, ’cause I’m not. And I ain’t gonna never be. None of us are. But we have won every single game we have played till now. So this team is perfect. We stepped out on that field that way tonight. And, uh, if it’s all the same to you, Coach Boone, that’s how we want to leave it.”

Well said Julius.

This quote might make more sense in a few minutes, but first……… How ‘bout them Beavers!!! Volleyball gets the brooms out and the football team comes away with a thrilling victory and carries the momentum of a two game win streak all the way across the state. (What’s a Duhawk?) Shout outs from the game go to Gunner, Anderson Island, and Bobby for their BIG games, and I can’t forget the grinder, Schwartz. That game-sealing pick tho. I wish I could write the chant from the student section as he was running off the field. (Hint: It wasn’t “Lemonades on Schwartz”).

Speaking of big games, tonight (Thursday) two teams collide with the winner taking a step into immortality. (No, I’m not talking about the Colts/Texans game tonight, who even thinks of that? I’m actually mad I had to include this sub thought.) I’m talking about the 12th annual Beaver Bowl. What’s the Beaver Bowl you ask? And why has there only been 12? First, it’s the intramural flag football championship, you silly goose. Second, it’s been 12 years since the merger and plus, I think my dad (also Paul’s dad) was an intramural champion back in his day, and since he was the opposite of an athlete, therefore all intramural records before 1991 don’t count.

Anyway, Beaver Bowl 2k14 takes place tonight in J. Leslie Rollins Stadium at 7 p.m. If you don’t think the stakes are high on this game, 1. They are. 2. President Moore Yik Yaked about it (Grandma, you’re just gonna have to trust me this is funny), and 3. Only one player from both rosters is not a basketball player, so, he probably won’t be on the field. #Ballers

I couldn’t find a press release with player quotes for the game like last year’s Flint Michigan Mega-Bowl, but from my experience I see an eerie connection between this game and the 2007-2008 SuperBowl between the NE Patriots and the NY Giants. The All-Madden Bruhs boast a perfect record and are the clear favorite heading into the title game. How clear of a favorite? Vegas (you already know) has the line for the game at -29 in favor of All-Madden. These are your 2007 Patriots. The Giants, aka “Show us your TD’s” (Real nice guys. I hope you realize what you’ve done, I’ll probably get fired.), stumbled through the regular season but have caught fire and reached the final game. Here are 4 reasons why the All-Madden Bros (Pats) will be Beaver Bowl Champions 2k14:

1.Roster Comparison– Just to prove how eerie this title is, the matchup matches that of the 2007-08 SuperBowl.

At the QB’s: Nick looks to finish a historical season with a fairy tale ending, just like TB in ’07. Wisecup has that Manning big play ability but also those disgusting sideline looks that make you think, “How the —- did Eli Manning win two SuperBowls?” Next, the back up QB’s: both unbelievably unproven, yet one will receive a ring. Next, the top WR’s: Cole put up Moss-like numbers all year and has been known to take plays off while Sunshine could come down with the biggest play of the game, his life, and possibly Beaver Bowl history……… and then never be seen again. Next, the player-coach of each team: Gallagher doesn’t take much credit for throwing together a championship ball club, but everyone knows he’ll go down as one of the greatest ever while Grant’s ball clubs seem to get hot at the right time. At other times they make you say, “How the —- did Eli Manning win two SuperBowls?” (Insert “Heck” into both “—-“ spaces. Thanks.) Next, the top DB of each team: Bob is that savvy vet that is always in the right place at the right time and it’ll take an impossible play to beat him, but……. we’ve seen it’s possible, while Logan Tickles (Grant, I have to ask, is this actually a real person????) may not have the dreadlocks like RW McQuarters did, but that might be a good thing. (Side note: There’s no way you’re enjoying this as much as I am right now, I’m sure of it.) Next, the all-important DLine position: PG brings all the weight, talent, and heart big Vince did back in the day while I’m not sure Rob can look as tough as Justin Tuck does, even when his lower lip obviously contains a substance, but I can’t tell what. Next, Juhl is looking for bragging rights over his younger brother so Ellis Hobbs fits right? While I’m not totally sure TJ wants to make the winning catch in this game because he knows that means his life will spin uncontrollably downward until he hits rock bottom. (Do I even need to say, “Just like Plaxico” or is it clear enough?) Finally, Show Us Your TD’s can’t even fill their roster (some unfortunate IR members), so I’ll quickly go through the final three roster spots for All-Madden: Sean brings the fire, Weeden brings Capri suns for after the game, and Tyler brings wisdom and spirit. Obviously the All-Madden Bros have the better squad and comparisons. Advantage, Vince Wilfork.

2.Confidence– I was able to find one quote for the game, given by Sam Lipps. It reads, “I’m not sure Show Us Your TD’s even know what a touchdown is? I mean seriously. I might not even show up to the game. I know we got this. They know we got this. President Moore yaked about us getting this. Usually I listen to my Spotify playlist “Toe Up” to get ready for the games. For this game I’mma listen to my “Chill” playlist. What more can you say? I’m done. Someone get me a coffee.” Bold words from a backup QB I’d say, but I guess you can’t argue with the experience, Vegas line, chemistry, and athleticism shared by the All-Madden Bruhs. From top to bottom, this team is as good as it gets.

3.Offensive attack– Unlike every other team in the nation, the All-Madden Bruhs have a balanced passing AND running attack. While Weeden battled injuries and a lengthy drug suspension in the beginning of the season, his last 4 ball games have been a testament to the strength and pure greatness of his career. While carrying the ball 14 times in the last four games, Weeden has nearly gained 30 yards. This mark nearly doubles his career total in just four games. Weeden also doubled his career interception total while throwing his only pass on the year. Not only has he been ineffective in short yardage situations, he also hasn’t registered a reception. Last but not least, Weeden is still searching for his first touchdown of the season and, what would be, the 4th of his great career. Will the Beaver Bowl yield a coming out party for Weeden? Will the veteran RB be suspended before the night’s game? Will Weeden even see a down? Will Show Us your TD’s have a kayak, gargoyle, or cheese pizza made and presented to Weeden for his last hurrah? I’m sure all of the fans that won’t be there are wondering the same thing.

4.Remember the Titans– Last but not least, the All-Madden Bruhs are closing in on perfection as Julius foreshadowed at the beginning. Although this speech will not be necessary during halftime as All-Madden will be up 15 or so, it’s always good to quote the movie, “Remember the Titans.” Someone once told me they were the last team to go completely perfect throughout a football season. That person was my brother, AG, and I believe him. Tomorrow night’s for you, AG. You may have never seen us play, or ever asked about the team, or even care, but we’re out here grinding for you bro. And let me tell you something, Sunshine may be on the opposing team tomorrow night but I’m nearly positive if he blocks like he did on the last play in the movie 1) he’ll be flagged 2) he’ll sustain a lengthy concussion and 3) he’ll break his transition lenses. AG, put your faith in us. THEY WILL REMEMBER THE NIGHT THEY PLAYED THE ALL-MADDEN BRUHS.

#Thanks4Reading