Jonathan Ehlrich | Staff Writer

The geometry, hand, and color of the mark may vary, but the results are the same: a sinking feeling in the gut; an enormous weight on the chest and shoulders, an increase in heartbeats per minute, the urge to cry (or not to cry because there are others around), hatred, embarrassment, shame, disgust, doubt, urgency, and the desire to accuse. Those are the reactions to low numbers written in red circles. The reactions are collectively known as grief.

The best explanation of grief I have ever found can be viewed on YouTube by searching “Robot Chicken: Quicksand”. The video shows the stages of grief in a specific order, but they can occur in any order or all at once. PsychCentral.com says the 5 stages of grief are:

1. Denial and isolation
2. Anger
3. Bargaining
4. Depression
5. Acceptance

I have experienced multiple orders and combinations of these symptoms a number of times since beginning my studies at BVU. Have you? I particularly excel at the bargaining phase. This is most notably, because I have an ability to create sophisticated and reasonable arguments to fix components of the environment I failed in that actually could be improved. This technique could also be called “blaming the professor”. Using that technique, I am able to share some of the grief I feel with my professors. I wonder if they know about students doing this? Grief shared = grief diffused, so I will likely continue sharing as long as it helps. Which stage do you excel in navigating? Is your excellence helping you much?

The most important question when it comes to grief is, “how is your preferred sort of acceptance affecting you.” I came up with these 5 sorts of acceptance:

1. Quitting – accepting that you cannot succeed.
2. Changing strategy- accepting that what you believed was wrong.
3. Giving over- accepting that it is not your choice.
4. Fighting through- accepting that it will take more effort.
5. Moving on- accepting impermanence.

Which one do you do most? Is it helpful? Are you willing to try a different one?

The assumption is of course that you reach the acceptance phase. Some do not, and some take longer to get there. What is evident, is that remaining in one of the first four stages of grief is an awful, nonproductive, terrible place to be. A living hell if you asked me. Do you know someone like that? Living in hell on Earth? Is it you? I ask myself that question often, and I cannot say for sure. I hope not. Now back to my physics and organic chemistry. Hopefully higher numbers will be written in the next red circles.

Graphic by Aaron Burns