Mikaela Millslagle | Opinion Editor

The seasons are upon us – Halloween has come and gone, Thanksgiving is arriving rapidly, and before we know it Christmas break will begin and we will find ourselves slowly settling into our well-known relaxation routines back home. While the allure of breaks calls to us all as we daydream of sleeping in and avoiding assignments, there is much about breaks that cause a deterrence. One of these is the dreaded conversations bound to be forced upon you at your family get-togethers. While some topics are easy to master, others are highly unwelcome by many students – specifically seniors who are in the process of coming to terms with the nearing end of their collegiate careers. So how do we deal with these inevitable holiday topics???

Without a doubt your grandmother will ask you about that special someone in your life. Deep down inside, she worries about the fact that you’re still single this late in life (Come on grandma, I’m not even a quarter of the way through life yet!). Your cousins are all seeing someone, engaged, or married and having kids and you’re the awkward one at your family dinners having to still sit at the kids’ table. Your parents will pry about your current grades. They don’t get monthly reports anymore, so it’s killing them not to know how well you’ve been doing in all of your college courses. Your grandfather likes to focus his attention on your future – what do you want to do? Where do you want to go? Are you going to come home and work for the family business? Have you even thought about your life? All of these things are topics we so desperately want to avoid so that we can pretend the future isn’t coming, don’t become depressed about our lack of love, and can keep up the façade of the perfect college student (what’s a B????).

So what are some tips for avoiding questions about your ~nonexistent~ love life, grades, extracurriculars, and future?

1. Ask your father/uncle/cousin about his favorite football team. This will likely bring out some form of tangent regarding the play book, the crappy quarterback, or perhaps even all around praise for the team. If you’re lucky, this may even spark a family debate over who loves the better team, and you’ll be off the hook for the remainder of the evening.

2. Make a comment about the turkey/ham/roast being a little overcooked. This will easily send your mother/grandmother/aunt into a frenzy because the turkey/ham/roast is NEVER overcooked. Insulting their cooking will likely turn into a conversation about how you are wrong, and while you may get the run around you still manage to avoid talking about yourself.

3. Bring up that one thing your brother/sister/cousin called you about and asked you not to mention. While this is totally against sibling/cousin code, it takes the heat away from you and on to them. All’s fair in love and war, right?

4. “Accidentally” knock the bowl of potatoes off the table. This will cause a huge frenzy between all of the family members because what is family dinner without the potatoes?!?!?! While everyone is scrambling to grab towels and save the potatoes, you can sit back quietly and enjoy not being interrogated.

5. Begin to sing your family’s favorite holiday song at the top of your lungs. Although everyone around you will likely be super confused, it will only take a view bars of song before they all join in. Once you get this going, they’ll likely break out the piano and continue with melodies clear into the night, leaving all questions about you in the past.

6. If all else fails, fake like you’re choking and pretend to die. Nothing gets you out of awkward conversations like not being alive. This is a sure fire way to avoid having to talk about any part of your current life, and if you’re lucky your family will laugh it off once they realize you were playing a prank and they’ll still let you have some pie.

Best of luck over the upcoming holidays!