Adam Ullerich | Co-Opinion Editor

Editor’s note: This is a fake article. All facts and quotes are entirely fabricated. Happy April Fools’ Day!

Ever been in a midnight study session and craving La Juanitas but don’t have enough gas in your car to get there? Never fear, La Juanita’s delivery service is here! After the success of SAB’s Dan Panchero’s event, owners announced that the restaurant will be launching a delivery service on April 1st, 2014.

Now, if your car is parked across campus and it is -20 degrees outside and you’ve been in shorts and a bro tank all day, there’s no need to actually put on clothing, find keys, open a door, open another door, walk out in the cold, find your car, unlock it, start it, wait for it to warm up, drive to La Juanita’s, order food, wait for it, and then eat it.

The restaurant will also be extending hours to cater to students’ late-night cravings and hectic schedules. La Juanita’s will be open all day, every day.

“Between work, school, and practice, I barely have time to shower, let alone sit down and have a meal,” sophomore Harry Winchester said. “It’s great, because I can have delicious food delivered anywhere I’m at on campus – even if it’s four in the morning.”

Free delivery is available for orders of 50 burritos or more. Students are encouraged to pool together with friends or enemies or frenemies to make that delivery charge as low as possible.