Shauna McKnight | Co-Editor-in-Chief

Editor’s note: This is a fake article. All facts and quotes are entirely fabricated. Happy April Fools’ Day!

Due to a recent city-wide water main break that contaminated the drinking water supply, the city of Storm Lake has announced that beginning April 1, it will be installing emergency equipment to make the lake the primary source of water for Buena Vista University (BVU) until repairs can be made.

“Well, BV uses a huge amount of water every day,” Chris Hardy, Director at Storm Lake Municipal Water Supply, said. “We’re installing this equipment to bring water to the college to alleviate some of the problems in other neighborhoods.”

Because of time and budget shortages, no filters will be installed in the equipment that will bring the water from the lake into BVU. Area conservationist Janine Berkin suggests that residents who do not want to drink unfiltered water should consider purchasing a water filter that attaches directly to the faucet or pitcher that filters water. Berkin says that showering in the water is perfectly safe because “people are allowed to swim there during the summer after all so it can’t be that bad.”

Hardy estimates that the shortages could last anywhere from one week to three months.

“Ew!” one first-year female student said.

“Are you freakin’ serious?” another student commented. “Have you seen that lake?”

The city has also released a list of prohibited water-related activities including taking excessively long showers, filling swimming pools, watering lawns, drinking eight glasses of water per day, and having water balloon fights.

Photo by Denise Krebs