Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

A popular statement made when someone is acknowledging their own personal ideas and dismissing potential negative responses to them. Lucky for Luna Martinez, she was able to state these words in July of 2020 as she presented a Ted Talk titled Lessons from My Ethical Non-Monogamous Household.

Martinez’s  Ted Talk took place at Colorado State University, where Luna completed her undergrad with a bachelor’s in environmental health, back in 2017. Fortunately for Martinez, having connections from her undergrad experience played in favor of making this happen sooner.

“It was something I had really hoped to do by the time I am 35,” Martinez said.

The home life Martinez experienced during her early childhood through adolescents played a significant role in the foundation of who she is as an individual today. In her talk titled, “Lessons from My Ethical Non-Monogamous Household,” She talks about how her parents modeled a functional and equally representative relationship to her in a transparent way. She also discusses that the two tenets of her talk are all about trust and communication. How her parents displayed the functions of that within their relationship with each other and the relationship they have with her. She then goes deep into talking about the lessons she has learned when it comes to understanding trust and communication.

Lesson One: “It’s about giving people a choice.”

 The understanding behind this lesson is that everyone needs to know the rules of the game, set boundaries, and expectations upfront. Martinez talks about how this lesson can be a difficult one to learn because when we give people a choice, we take off ownership of ourselves. She states, “You get to say, those people’s choices are not a reflection of me.” That we are not responsible for the things that they do, and even if it seems like it’s directed towards us, in those situations we aren’t that important. She mentions that we are important and valued, however, the actions that others have are their expression and they don’t define us.

Lesson Two: “People change over time in circumstance.”

This lesson begins by discussing how humans develop over time through knowledge, experiences, and growth. According to Martinez, “That’s what makes us neat as multicellular organisms.” Is it obvious she majored in environmental health? She discusses in depth how we as human beings tend to focus on categorizing the time we experience before turning 20 years old. This lesson is all about how we spend a lot of our developmental years investing our energy and grace into one other person because society tends to deem for it to be this way. Additionally, it’s about how we often forget to do it for ourselves and the other people we spend time with.

Lesson Three: “Knowing yourself is the best tool for relationship building.”

This lesson is about how allowing yourself time for reflections during developmental periods can better help you understand who you are and where you want to be in life. That the relationships in your life can benefit from self-awareness because you are better able to communicate your wants and needs.

Martinez ends the talk by stating, “You all are worth it, and you all are valuable. So, you deserve to learn more about yourself to live more authentically.”

Link to the Ted Talk: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I_0cjuNe2mQ