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March Madness Stereotypes

March+Madness+Stereotypes

Grady Gallagher | Blogger

What up peeps?

How’s the week treating everybody?

Ay yo, G? Y’all gotta be writin’ about March Madness this week right? I mean, what else could be more important than that?

My response: Touche.

But what about March Madness? I know I could talk about this subject for hours and hours. My Freshman year, I did a breakdown of my bracket picks. While traditionally I have not been the best bracketology pick master, after sharing my picks; I literally finished in the bottom 8% on ESPN’s thing. Truly a pitiful performance. So, I vowed to not continue to dish out bracket advice and picks. Then, last year, I did a countdown of my favorite March Madness moments (One of my favorite blogs, honestly), yet my bracket finished woefully, yet again (finished in the 17.8% on ESPN). Seriously, G, pick it up. I know, I know. I got it.

While I’m not totally superstitious, I gotta do something different this year. I was thinking top 5 most loved/most hated players in March (Obviously most loved=Steph Curry, as everyone would already guess #NoBuenoPorElBlog). I could do funniest March Madness stories that happened to me, but can’t go back to back blogs talkin’ straight G2. #SpreadtheLove So, I think I’ll go with my favorite idea: March Madness Stereotypes ft. Dude Perfect.

  1. “The Moogle”- I think I hit on this stereotype my last year in my picks column. If you weren’t following way back then, this is the guy who knows it all, literally. Quoted from last year’s blog, “He constantly asks you who you have picked in the game that is currently going on. After 37 times of him telling you who he has picked (without you EVER asking him, may I add), you finally confront him about the situation and say that you, in fact, heard him the first 36 times. By the end of March, “Moogle” has told you his picks so many times that you know them better than your own picks.” The bad thing is, most times, this guy actually does know quite a bit about the game, but he just let’s his passion overcome his dignity.
  2. “Debbie Downer”- As I also mentioned in last year’s column (some things never change) this is the guy that cannot remember his picks. Half the fun/grind/frustration of watching the games is cheering for your pick. This is the month when cheering for Manhattan is acceptable. Get into it! Trash talk that guy that has Louisville in the Final Four when Manhattan is up 40 (I’m that guy. The one with L’Ville in the Final Four). Granted, it’s not as bad as somebody that publicly addresses his pick during the game, only to find out after he picked the opponent. But seriously, REMEMBER WHO YOU PICK.
  3. “Silent but Deadly”- We all know this guy. The humblest of villains whom you can’t hate due to results. This is the guy we see roaming near the top of the pool throughout the tournament and uses quiet confidence as his masked identity. He watches all the games quietly in the corner, sometimes more occupied by less important things. I won’t lie; I strive to be this guy. It hasn’t happened lately, and if I pick an upset correctly, you’ll hear about it. Curse you silent killers of March!
  4. “Multiple Brackets Guy”- I don’t know how I used to watch games knowing I had picked both teams on separate brackets. There was no chance of losing, but where’s the fun? #1 How do you remember who you picked in which bracket? #2 What’s the point? While relying on one bracket really hasn’t worked for me yet, I’m a big fan of the process. Do or die. All or nothing. YOU WILL NOT TAKE THIS FROM ME BAY-BE! Seriously though, one bracket separates the real ballers from the guys that wear ankle socks to play basketball. #Weak
  5. “Upsets Dude”- You ever been in a conversation about the tourney and this one guy somehow has become an expert on New Mexico State? He rattles off an obscene stat about their team and why they’ll beat whoever. We give them their moment of satisfaction then continue on with business matters, only to hear of another team rising from the ashes to an upset victory. We get it dude, you like calling upsets but nobody can call them all. So stop. Please stop.
  6. “Jay Bilas”- Every so often we encounter a true March Madness champion. This is the combination of luck, skill, knowledge, and athleticism. Alright, probably not athleticism at all, but it just all comes together. Not cocky, yet not quiet. Not overwhelming, yet researched. They act like they’ve been there before, whether they have or not. And last but not least…
  7. “The Gdeuce”- Some guys give it all they got, day in and day out. Some use research, analytics, statistics, and the flip of a coin. No matter what they do, they just can’t seem to pick correctly. Anything that can go wrong does. The most unlikely things to happen happen. They want nothing more than one March Madness pool title (and money) (just kidding) to brag about to all their dawgs and home boys. Can a brother get an, Amen?! But, just like in life, some things happen and there is no explanation, therapy, or reason. “That’s just the way it is.” –Tupac
  8. As many times as March Madness knocks me down, you can bet I’ll always be just as jacked up for next year. Good luck to everyone’s bracket!!!! Should be an awesome tourney!!!

    Thanks for reading!

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