Grady Gallagher | Blogger

“The people who can honestly look at themselves in the mirror and give an honest assessment are the people who have a better chance of success. This isn’t just in basketball, but it is in life.”

Wise words from our very own Coach Van Haaften.

I thought this quote was very fitting to prelude my annual “Meet the Beavs” blog. Why? Because it’s like the exact opposite thing that I do in this article.

You may see some familiar faces on this list, some maybe for the 3rd time, but let me assure you, nothing is repeated on Meet the Beavs. Also, since I already did the Frosh once, (catch it here if you missed it: https://www.bvtack.com/2014/09/11/grady-is-back-for-his-final-season/ ) I’m not going to do them again. So here we go, you’re 2014-2015 BVU Men’s Basketball Squad:

The squad goes in order from “most likely to help an old woman cross the street” to “weakest MarioKart DoubleDash for Gamecube player.” (What does that even mean?)

Kennedy Drey, SO- I think Kennedy’s mental attitude most clearly reflects our poster this year, “All Business.” If you don’t know Ken personally, his new hair style that no longer reflects “Bieber Fever” should say enough. If he hadn’t dropped a dock on my head and made me miss two days of practice, I might actually talk to him.

Alex Savage, SR- Believe me, I had been waiting for this moment for a while to rip on Sav because I just cannot beat him in Fantasy Football. But, Sav has actually been kind of nice to me lately so it wouldn’t be right. Instead, I have a poem for Alex: Roses are red, violets are blue. Who is this new girl always in our suite now, and why’s she with you?

Greg Sibenaller, SR- Over the summer, Greg miraculously overcame color blindness (a true underdog story) and his game shoes this year are not royal blue and totally clashing. When asked to comment over the shoe change, Greg responded, “I’m paid to play basketball. Not to make friends. Not to look good. Not to move athletically. And definitely not to match.”

James Gradert, SO- I appreciate James and his effort to keep the tradition of “White Tee Wednesday” going. He’s loyal. I couldn’t not believe him when he told me his best friend in childhood was cousins with DeMarcus Cousins. Cousins’s cousin. Seems legit. I mean, who really knows what goes on in Sheldon, Iowa, anyway?

Paul Gallagher, SO- I’ll never forget my time playing ball with my brother. Lots of ups and downs, good times and bad, games won and games lost, bad haircuts and worse haircuts. Through it all, there’s no one I’d rather shoot, lift, and take a nap with afterwards. That’s what I’ll remember about him. Wait, what do you mean he’s not dead yet? I just wasted like 5 minutes and a paragraph on him.

Bobby Ivey, JR- Bobby has recently become more aggressive on the floor, and I like it. I mean, I like it when I’m on his team in practice. And in flag football. And in intramural softball. And when he invites me to hot tub. And when we watch Bulls games togeth…….. Wait, that’s not that much fun. Hey Pleiss Jr., cool it. #YoureNotOnTheTeam

Cole Darrow, SR- Dirty 30 thought about switching his number for the upcoming season to #54. I tried to tell him, I said, “Cole, they won’t let your cell phone number have less than 7 digits. Plus, I wouldn’t want my phone number switched if I had as many girls texting me as you do…..” Cole gave me a disgusted look and did 400 sit-ups. Later on, I came to find out that, apparently, he was talking about his basketball jersey number.

Samuel Lipps, JR- I like Sam for 2 reasons: 1. He’s a huge JT fan, just like me. 2. He doesn’t pretend like he’s a Nebraska football fan. He knows he’s not and accepts it. He doesn’t try to pull up Ameer Abdullah’s stats and make a Heisman argument. He doesn’t constantly retweet Eric Crouch or Montee Ball. He doesn’t. He just does him. He puts on for his city. And, he looks best during no-shave November (said no girl ever).

Jarod Juhl, JR- “Just don’t make fun of how old I am,” was Juhl’s only request for this blog. You got your wish big guy, but in return I think you owe me a couple things. 1. A Cubs World Series Appearance in the next 3 years and 2. A double date to Outback where you bring Kim Kardashian and I bring the “Go Beavers” guy. Now that’s a date.

Nick Wuebker, SR- Last year’s Defensive Player of the Year in the IIAC and 2nd Team All-Conference selection turns to one last season on the hardwood. He had the largest shoe size I had ever encountered until earlier this year we ate with a recruit that boasted size 22. Nick’s response, “Great job.”

Jayson Van Haaften, SO- To the general public, he’s that kid that holds a clip board on the bench. To the team, he’s our coach, but more importantly, he’s our friend. I would like to make a toast to my lunch buddy, Jay: “May you keep wearing jerseys to jersey day, even though you’re a coach. And may you never stop getting buckets on the side hoop. TO JAY!” (Crowd erupts)

Owen Statlander, SO- One of the most important lessons I’ve learned over my lifetime is to always be friends with the guy that makes the pump up CD. This year, O Stat is my guy. Will my “Piano Man” by Billy Joel request be granted? If not, at least “Crazy Kids” by KeSha? C’mon mannnnnn. Bruhhhhhh. The Beaver Den would be going nuts!

Brett Heitkamp, SR- Brett has significantly improved his game on and off the floor since Freshman year. You want examples? Well as a Freshman I asked Brett, “You got a girl, Big B?” His face turned white and he looked around the room. “I love lamp.” What? “I love lamp,” he repeated. Truthfully, I’ve seen nothing but improvement since that day.

Tyler Kastantin, SR- If you hear a small child yelling “Go Mr. K!” at any home games this year, it’s probably because T Kast has been observing and teaching at Storm Lake Elementary every morning this semester. If you hear a small child yelling this at any away game this year (like in Philadelphia), please notify the police, National Guard, and Joni Ernst.

Nick Clark, JR- On the court, Nick plays with aggression, confidence, and the will to win. He reminds me of Jameer Nelson while at St. Joseph’s. Off the court, Nick struggles with talking to girls, he hasn’t “been there” so all of his NFL draft knowledge is not credible, and he never finished the 2nd half of his ping pong training: the back hand. Here, he reminds me of Carlton off the Fresh Prince of Bel Air TV show.

Kyler Huisman, JR- While I might not be as in love with Kyler’s “swag” as Paul is, there is one thing I cannot deny. Anyone who can claim “Wait for You,” by Elliot Yamin as their all-time favorite song has some serious “swag”. Peroid. (I know Kyler’s upset about where he sits on this list after our last DoubleDash sesh. Keep working, young blood.)

Sean Morgan, SO- A solid offseason for Sean brings him back to the floor bigger, stronger, and with redder hair than ever. He’s basically a New Balance sponsorship away from actually reaching his life goal of being Matt Bonner. They always said Sean could make the league if he didn’t drag around that “so-called girlfriend”. Who is they, you ask? Joe Frost and Company. That’s who they is.

Well, there are your Beavers for this season. Hopefully it’ll be as fun for you as it will be for us. With the high expectations and goals for this season, a championship attitude must be not only used on the floor, but throughout all aspects of the day. For the seniors, this is the final chapter, the last hurrah, the last competitive basketball that means something (until our chance to punish our own children by dropping 40 in the driveway) so let’s GO GET IT!!!!!!

Thanks for reading!

(Yes, I know Montee Ball went to Wisconsin, Weeden. Get it together.)